{"id":2897,"date":"2024-02-26T09:00:00","date_gmt":"2024-02-26T14:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nancylucenay.com\/staging\/8869\/?p=2897"},"modified":"2025-07-14T17:45:40","modified_gmt":"2025-07-14T21:45:40","slug":"how-to-reconcile-our-pain-with-gods-love","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nancylucenay.com\/staging\/8869\/how-to-reconcile-our-pain-with-gods-love\/","title":{"rendered":"Mary ~ How to Reconcile Our Pain with God&#8217;s Love"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>The doctor\u2019s call affirmed God\u2019s answer to our prayers. My husband and I were expecting a baby! We had big dreams for our firstborn. Mary, too, realized her baby was the answer to many prayers. She would give birth to the Messiah, the one her people had eagerly anticipated for hundreds of years. Yet, can you imagine the shock and bewilderment that shook her soul at Gabriel\u2019s announcement? \u201cGreetings, O favored one, the Lord is with you! \u2026 You will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus\u201d (<a href=\"https:\/\/www.biblegateway.com\/passage\/?search=Luke+1%3A28%3B+Luke+1%3A31&amp;version=NIV\">Luke 1<\/a><a href=\"https:\/\/www.biblegateway.com\/passage\/?search=Luke+1%3A28%3B+Luke+1%3A31&amp;version=NIV\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">:<\/a><a href=\"https:\/\/www.biblegateway.com\/passage\/?search=Luke+1%3A28%2C+31&amp;version=NIV\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">28<\/a><a href=\"https:\/\/www.biblegateway.com\/passage\/?search=Luke+1%3A28%3B+Luke+1%3A31&amp;version=NIV\">, 31<\/a>). Despite her questions, Mary basked in God\u2019s love and favor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">What Else Did Mary Bear?<\/h2>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignleft size-thumbnail\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" data-attachment-id=\"2903\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/nancylucenay.com\/staging\/8869\/how-to-reconcile-our-pain-with-gods-love\/84_image-by-gerd-altmann-from-pixabay_woman-3089939\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/nancylucenay.com\/staging\/8869\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/84_Image-by-Gerd-Altmann-from-Pixabay_woman-3089939-scaled.jpg?fit=2048%2C1365&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"2048,1365\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;1&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"84_Image-by-Gerd-Altmann-from-Pixabay_woman-3089939\" data-image-description=\"&lt;p&gt;Woman condemned by her community&lt;\/p&gt;\n\" data-image-caption=\"&lt;p&gt;Image-by-Gerd-Altmann-from-Pixabay&lt;\/p&gt;\n\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/nancylucenay.com\/staging\/8869\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/84_Image-by-Gerd-Altmann-from-Pixabay_woman-3089939-scaled.jpg?fit=1024%2C683&amp;ssl=1\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/nancylucenay.com\/staging\/8869\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/84_Image-by-Gerd-Altmann-from-Pixabay_woman-3089939.jpg?resize=150%2C150&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"Woman feeling community shame rather than God's favor\" class=\"wp-image-2903\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/nancylucenay.com\/staging\/8869\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/84_Image-by-Gerd-Altmann-from-Pixabay_woman-3089939-scaled.jpg?resize=150%2C150&amp;ssl=1 150w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/nancylucenay.com\/staging\/8869\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/84_Image-by-Gerd-Altmann-from-Pixabay_woman-3089939-scaled.jpg?resize=300%2C300&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/nancylucenay.com\/staging\/8869\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/84_Image-by-Gerd-Altmann-from-Pixabay_woman-3089939-scaled.jpg?resize=75%2C75&amp;ssl=1 75w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/nancylucenay.com\/staging\/8869\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/84_Image-by-Gerd-Altmann-from-Pixabay_woman-3089939-scaled.jpg?resize=45%2C45&amp;ssl=1 45w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/nancylucenay.com\/staging\/8869\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/84_Image-by-Gerd-Altmann-from-Pixabay_woman-3089939-scaled.jpg?zoom=3&amp;resize=150%2C150&amp;ssl=1 450w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p>Mary bore more than a son. She also endured overwhelming <a href=\"https:\/\/nancylucenay.com\/staging\/8869\/the-pursuit-of-honor-in-the-non-western-world\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">shame<\/a>\u2014the disbelief and disappointment of those she loved, the scandalous disgrace of an out-of-wedlock pregnancy, and the possibility of divorce or death by stoning. Then, after her baby\u2019s birth, she wrestled, knowing that although her child lived, many others died because of Herod\u2019s jealous rage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Perhaps rearing her fully divine-fully human son presented few problems in his early years. But when Jesus was twelve years old, Mary experienced the heart-sick panic of losing a child in a large city crammed with uncaring strangers. Had she lost God\u2019s love? She suffered three days of frantic searching until she and Joseph finally found Jesus conversing with those he would later challenge (<a href=\"https:\/\/www.biblegateway.com\/passage\/?search=Luke+2%3A41-52&amp;version=NIV\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Luke 2:41-52<\/a>).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Mary\u2019s incomprehension must have increased as she watched her pride and joy abandon carpentry to become an itinerant preacher. He made friends with the outcasts of society\u2014beggars, lepers, tax collectors, and prostitutes. Her son acted nothing like she and her fellow Jews expected the Messiah to act. His views of God, the Mosaic law, and the Temple created confusion and embarrassment. His interactions with the religious leaders left her fearful for his safety.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Even Mary\u2019s other children suspected their oldest brother of insanity. Imagine her rejection when Jesus claimed the misfits around him as family rather than his mother and siblings (<a href=\"https:\/\/www.biblegateway.com\/passage\/?search=Mark+3%3A20-21%2C+31-35&amp;version=NIV\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Mark 3:20-21, 31-35<\/a>). Instead of God\u2019s love, Mary felt the scorn of her neighbors.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Mary\u2019s Burden Intensified<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Yet the worst torment Mary bore was not the incredible shame of having a suspected criminal for a son. Instead, it was the incalculable pain of watching her precious firstborn\u2019s torture and humiliation on a Roman cross. Her dreams died with his words, \u201cIt is finished\u201d (<a href=\"https:\/\/www.biblegateway.com\/passage\/?search=John+19%3A30&amp;version=NIV\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">John 19:30<\/a>). Although Jesus provided for his mother\u2019s future by appointing John as her substitute son, she couldn\u2019t reconcile the angel\u2019s pronouncement of God\u2019s loving favor with the nightmare she was living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cIt\u201d was finished, but God wasn\u2019t. As Mary grieved at home, John hid with the terrified disciples until Mary Magdalene reported the news of Jesus\u2019 missing body. After racing to the empty tomb, John \u201cwent in\u2026 saw and believed\u201d (<a href=\"https:\/\/www.biblegateway.com\/passage\/?search=John+20%3A8&amp;version=NIV\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">John 20:8<\/a>). Then, he returned home, and no doubt told Jesus\u2019 mother about her son\u2019s apparent resurrection, renewing her hope. When Mary Magdalene later announced, \u201cI have seen the Lord\u201d (<a href=\"https:\/\/www.biblegateway.com\/passage\/?search=John+20%3A18&amp;version=NIV\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">John 20:18<\/a>), she reignited Mary\u2019s faltering faith.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Reconciling God\u2019s Love with Our Pain<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Like Mary, we may struggle to harmonize God\u2019s loving promises with our heartaches. She surrendered her heart and body to bear the Christ. God also calls us to faithfulness, to carry his light and love to a watching, waiting, and sometimes wicked world. Mary saw the day we call Good Friday as the worst day of her life. Still, God was at work. She couldn\u2019t see God\u2019s hand then, and often, we can\u2019t see his movement today.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201dNevertheless, \u201cwe know that for those who love God, all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose\u201d (<a href=\"https:\/\/www.biblegateway.com\/passage\/?search=Romans+8%3A28&amp;version=NIV\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Romans 8:28<\/a>). God never wastes our pain. He uses it to work in and through even our darkest and most difficult days to accomplish his plans and purposes for our good and his glory.\u201cNevertheless, \u201cwe know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose\u201d (<a href=\"https:\/\/www.biblegateway.com\/passage\/?search=Romans+8%3A28&amp;version=NIV\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Romans 8:28<\/a>). God never wastes our pain. He uses it to work in and through even our darkest and most difficult days to accomplish his plans and purposes for our good and his glory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cFor still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the end\u2014it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay\u201d (<a href=\"https:\/\/www.biblegateway.com\/passage\/?search=Habakkuk+2%3A3&amp;version=NIV\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Habakkuk 2:3<\/a>). Jesus\u2019 resurrection confirms God\u2019s faithfulness. He always keeps his promises.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When have you wondered how to reconcile your pain with God&#8217;s love? How has God used your struggles to accomplish his purposes? Join the conversation by sharing your thoughts and comments below.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-small-font-size\">All Scriptures are from the English Standard Version.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Mary gave birth to the Messiah, but she also bore shame, heartache, and confusion throughout Jesus&#8217; life. How could she reconcile God&#8217;s love with her pain? How can we?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2905,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"_kad_post_classname":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"Mary bore a son but also shame, heartache, and confusion throughout Jesus' life. How could she reconcile God's favor with her pain? How can we?","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":false,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[383,263,113],"tags":[268,456,165],"class_list":["post-2897","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-following-jesus","category-new-testament","category-women-of-the-bible","tag-easter","tag-gods-favor","tag-mary"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v26.5 (Yoast SEO v27.4) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Mary ~ How to Reconcile Our Pain with God&#039;s Love - Nancy Lucenay<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Mary bore the Messiah but also shame and heartache throughout Jesus&#039; life. How could she reconcile God&#039;s love with her pain? 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