{"id":3122,"date":"2024-10-14T09:00:00","date_gmt":"2024-10-14T13:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nancylucenay.com\/staging\/8869\/?p=3122"},"modified":"2025-09-07T15:09:29","modified_gmt":"2025-09-07T19:09:29","slug":"how-to-overcome-sexual-assault-tamars-story","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nancylucenay.com\/staging\/8869\/how-to-overcome-sexual-assault-tamars-story\/","title":{"rendered":"Tamar ~ How to Overcome Sexual Assault"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

A middle-aged farmer lamented to his friend. \u201cI just can\u2019t get any work out of my boys after they use their sister at night.\u201d The father normalized the routine rape of his young daughter, leaving her defenseless. Tamar also suffered abuse at the hands of her brothers and abandonment by the father who should have protected her (2 Samuel 13:<\/a>1<\/a>\u201322<\/a>).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tamar’s Rape<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Amnon, Tamar\u2019s half-brother, claimed to love her, but the king\u2019s virgin daughter was off-limits to him.  When his obsessive lust made him ill, his crafty cousin Jonadab asked why. Amnon explained, and Jonadab recommended he fake an illness and wait until his father, King David, came to check on him. Then, the crown prince could ask his father to send Tamar to his house to prepare food and hand-feed him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jonadab\u2019s plan worked, and an unsuspecting David ordered the innocent Tamar into Amnon\u2019s trap. Had she noticed Amnon\u2019s leering looks? Perhaps, but a woman had no choice whether to comply with her father\u2019s command. Her brother\u2019s sickness, however, wasn\u2019t physical, and food wasn\u2019t what he wanted. Tamar rejected Amnon\u2019s advances and begged him to consider the consequences. He would be like one of Israel\u2019s wicked fools, and she would suffer lifelong disgrace. Instead, she recommended he ask the king to allow them to marry. Yet Amnon, fueled by lechery, refused to listen. After overpowering her, he hated her more than he\u2019d loved her. Despite Tamar\u2019s heartbroken pleas, he sent her away and ordered his servant to bolt the door, sealing her shame.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cTamar put ashes on her head and tore the ornate robe she was wearing. She put her hands on her head and went away, weeping aloud as she went\u201d (2 Samuel 13:19). Her behavior alerted everyone in the palace to her humiliation and devastation. Amnon had ravaged her honor<\/a> and hopes of marriage and motherhood. Although furious, her father did nothing to punish his firstborn. Tamar\u2019s brother Absalom took her in, but after silencing and sidelining her, he exploited her nightmare to advance his dream of becoming the next king. Her tragic story ends with her living in Absalom\u2019s house as a dishonored and desolate woman.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

An Amazing Discovery<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

As the only woman in Scripture whose voice we hear after her sexual assault, we know Tamar was a strong woman. There must be more to her life. The chronicler tells us three men, including Gad the seer, recorded the events of King David\u2019s reign (1 Chronicles 29:29<\/a>). But how can we find his account?<\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"Ahoti:<\/a><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

As part of her research on a book about children of the Bible, Miriam Feinberg Vamosh conferred with Professor Meir Bar-Ilan. He described his work on a manuscript considered lost for hundreds of years. Jews of Cochin, India, claimed descendants of early exiles from the Holy Land gave their ancestors several apocryphal books, including Words of Gad the Seer<\/em>. After discovering the document buried in the Cambridge library, Bar-Ilan translated the text for modern readers. One chapter of Gad\u2019s book expanded Tamar\u2019s tale, so the professor encouraged Miriam, a renowned author and Holy Land tour educator, to tell the rest of Tamar\u2019s story. She agreed, then asked her friend, multiple award-winning author Eva Marie Everson, to work with her as co-author. The result is Ahoti: A Story of Tamar<\/em><\/a>. Ahoti is Hebrew for \u201cmy sister.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Master storytellers Vamosh and Everson take us beyond the biblical ending of Tamar\u2019s rape to a horizon of hope, as pictured in the ancient manuscript. I encourage you to read this uplifting book.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Steps to Overcome Sexual Assault<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

In Ahoti<\/em>, Tamar looked to God for healing and deliverance. \u201cO God, in the multitude of thy mercy hear me, in the truth of thy salvation. Deliver me out of the mire, and let me not sink: let me be delivered from them that hate me, and out of the deep waters\u201d (Psalm 69:13-14<\/a> KJV). How can we follow her lead?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \n
  1. Listen for God\u2019s truth. Sexual assault is never the victim\u2019s fault.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  2. Look for God\u2019s deliverance. God holds onto you even when you neither see nor feel him.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  3. Leave justice in God\u2019s hands. He sees and judges in righteousness at the right time.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  4. Let God redirect the voices in your mind. Refuse to wallow in the mire of replays.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  5. Live in God\u2019s redemptive grace. Your past need neither define you in the present nor determine your future\u2014no matter what you\u2019ve endured.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n

    If you\u2019ve been the victim of sexual assault, please know you\u2019re not alone and not to blame. \u201cThe LORD is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble\u201d (Psalm 9:9<\/a> NIV). He will give you hope and a future.<\/p>\n\n\nu0022How to Overcome Sexual Assault ~ Tamar's Storyu0022 by Nancy Lucenay on Beyond the Front Door <\/a><\/span>Share on X<\/a><\/span>\n\n\n

    National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    The American Association of Christian Counselors<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Inflamed with lust, Tamar\u2019s half-brother sexually assaulted her. Despite her pleas and efforts to seek justice, the king\u2019s daughter lived in disgrace, dismissed by her brother and deserted by her father. A recently translated ancient manuscript expands her story. “Ahoti: A Story of Tamar” explores Tamar’s journey toward healing. Through his Word and Spirit, God offers overcoming hope to those who have suffered abuse. Find the steps to overcome sexual assault.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3169,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"_kad_post_classname":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[264,113],"tags":[488,486,460,459,487,485,56,129,484],"class_list":["post-3122","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-old-testament","category-women-of-the-bible","tag-ahoti","tag-amnon","tag-beyond-the-front-door","tag-nancy-lucenay","tag-rape","tag-sexual-assault","tag-shame","tag-tamar","tag-tamar-overcoming-sexual-assault"],"yoast_head":"\nTamar ~ How to Overcome Sexual Assault - Nancy Lucenay<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Find the steps to overcome the trauma of sexual assault. 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