I raised my voice as I answered my elderly, hard-of-hearing mother’s question for the fourth time. The silence in the room thundered as the noise of the other ladies chatting ceased, and all eyes looked my direction. Not only did my mother hear my sharp tone, but everyone else did as well. In that instant, I exposed decades of failure to be the patient, loving daughter I wanted people to think I was. My face burned, and though I longed to disappear, I could think of nothing to mitigate the awkwardness of the moment or my humiliation. After a few seconds that felt like forever, conversations resumed. Nevertheless, even years later, I couldn’t let go of the shame as I allowed that snapshot to confirm me as a never-good-enough daughter. I longed to find healing in God’s grace, but how?

I’m not alone. Many Christians live under the same heavy weight. Long after we’ve confessed our sins and failures to the Lord, the pain remains. We accept God’s grace in our heads but still carry disgrace in our hearts. My shame stemmed from something I did. Yet for others, the cause may arise from something done to them or result from the human condition. The bleeding woman in Mark 5:25-34 presents a powerful picture of one who lived with her burden for twelve long years. Unlike me, she was not to blame for her shame.

The Bleeding Woman’s Story

At some point, the nameless woman’s monthly cycle refused to end. She tried every cure the doctors suggested, but when she ran out of money, they ran out of ideas. Her fellow Jews assumed God was punishing her for some sin. For twelve years—six hundred twenty-four weeks, four thousand four hundred nineteen days—the bleeding woman endured the agonizing degradation. A never-ending reminder of her unworthiness. Even her family refused to touch her or anything she handled lest she transmit her uncleanness to them. People treated her like the embodiment of shame, recoiling and judging her. They barred her from worship and everyday social interaction. Although her heart craved the warmth of human touch, she could find no way to make herself acceptable. So she stayed out of sight to avoid abuse. The crushing loneliness and isolation weighed down her shoulders and dogged her dreams as shame whispered in her ear. “You’re unwanted. You’re unredeemable. You’ll never be healed.”

A Brave Decision

One day, the bleeding woman learned Jesus was coming to town. She’d heard about his miraculous powers, that just touching his clothes would bring healing. Could she permit herself to hope one more time? Might she possibly find healing in God’s grace? Determined to push back against her hopelessness and exhaustion, she dragged herself off her pallet to risk mixing with the crowd. If they realized who she was, they would beat her. She prayed her self-imposed isolation would allow her to remain anonymous.

With her eyes down and face hidden under a head covering, the woman inched toward Jesus. Despite the pushing of the mob, she squeezed her emaciated body close enough to stroke the tassels on his prayer shawl. She gasped when she realized her bleeding had stopped, not slowed but stopped. However, when Jesus turned and asked who touched him, her heart pounded as her worst nightmare became reality. Somehow, he distinguished between the crowd’s incidental contact and her intentional touch of faith that released his power. Her actions made him unclean. Would he rebuke her or reverse her healing? She expected he would give up when he recognized the impossibility of identifying one person in the pulsing throng. Yet he insisted.

The Bleeding Woman Finds Healing in God’s Grace

The trembling woman crumpled at Jesus’ feet and confessed. With the gentlest eyes and voice possible, he turned to her. Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace (shalom) and be freed from your suffering (Mark 5:34 NIV). He welcomed her into his shalom (peace, wholeness)as a daughter of Abraham. Restoring not only her body but her dignity, her place in the community, and her identity in God’s family. At last, she found freedom from her shame and healing in God’s grace.

The Connection to Our Shame

The bond between us and our shame may be a dual attraction. Not only do the bitter memories have a chokehold on us, but we may also refuse to let go. Until Jesus healed the bleeding woman, she couldn’t avoid her condition. But we keep replaying shameful incidents in our minds, unable to escape. For over twenty years, I resigned myself to bearing the heaviness in my chest for how I treated my mother. Then Jesus intervened by putting his finger on the ache in my heart. One morning, the topic of shame appeared in my Bible reading and various devotions, demanding my attention. The Savior encouraged me to bring my humiliation to him. Why? Because shame thrives in darkness but dies in the light. Exposure destroys its power. Despite my desire to ignore his invitation, I accepted, claiming his assurance of deliverance. Instead of condemning me, he burned away my shame and poured the cooling waters of his healing grace over my wounds. He removed my identity as a never-good-enough daughter, restoring me to a treasured position in his family.

Still, my failure to seek my mother’s forgiveness before she died grieved my soul. However, Jesus assured me he’d healed all my mother’s pain the instant she stepped into his presence. He not only did for me what I couldn’t do for myself, but he also did for her what I could no longer do.

How to Let Go of the Shame That Won’t Let Go of Us

Will you join me at the foot of the cross as we offer the shame that won’t let go to the One who died to set us free? He waits for us to come to him for healing.

• Accept God’s Word. God says we’re forgiven. Will we believe him?
  God is faithful and reliable. If we confess our sins, he forgives them and cleanses us from everything we’ve done wrong. (1 John 1:9 GW)
• Apply God’s grace. Shame insists we are what we’ve done, but Jesus invites us to believe in him and let him replace our shame with his shalom.
  Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28 NLT)
• Assume the new identity God gives. Like the bleeding woman, we must reject the old labels and live as God’s forgiven children.
  Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! (2 Corinthians 5:17 NIV)

To let go of our shame means trusting God and his provision. He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west (Psalm 103:12 NLT). Our stories don’t end with shame. They end with the name Daughter or Son.

How to Let Go of Shame and Find Healing in God’s Grace by @NancyLucenay on Beyond the Front Door #LetGoOfShame #GodsGrace #Faith #Bible Share on X

To learn more about shame in God’s Word, check out my previous post: “What the Bible Says About Shame: How Jesus Secures Our Honor.”

What additional suggestions for letting go of shame can you offer based on what has helped you or someone you know? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Please share them in the Comments box at the bottom of the page. (If you don’t see the Comments box, click Read More and scroll down.)