“If I’m not worshiping the idol, is it okay just to wave and say, ‘Hi’?” Sharon asked. She attended both the Thursday Ladies’ Bible Study and the Sunday Bible class for seekers. Both groups included believers and pre-believers. Sharon was not yet a believer. Our lesson on Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego (Daniel 3) opened the door to a frequent topic of discussion — ancestor worship. Idol worship is pervasive in Hong Kong. Many homes display altars dedicated to deceased family members where the family gathers to honor them. They often place food offerings in front of these altars. Some people believe the spirits of the dead ancestors can affect the lives of the living, either for good or ill. 

A commitment to follow Jesus can be costly for those in collectivist cultures. Non-believing family members cannot understand why believers won’t take part in ancestor worship.  Unbelievers reason that since they respect the Christian God, Christians should respect their gods. As one class member explained, “Christians understand there is only one God, but non-Christians don’t.” When Christians refuse to worship their ancestors, their unbelieving families may accuse them of selfishness. By insisting on their way, they’re creating disharmony in the family.

Tomb Sweeping Festivals

Hong Kong has two tomb sweeping festivals (public holidays) every year. Ching Ming is in early April. Chung Yeung (the Double Ninth Festival) is the ninth day of the ninth month of the Chinese calendar (October). During these festivals, relatives travel to the cemetery to clean the graves of their ancestors. Ancestor worship assures the ancestors of the family’s continued love and respect. Families offer sacrifices to the deceased, hoping to supply whatever they might need in the afterlife. After honoring their ancestors with gifts and tributes, the families share a meal at the site. 

It is now possible to pay someone to give the expected honor to deceased family members. You can find websites selling tomb sweeping packages for those who are too busy or too far away to visit the cemetery. For between US $15 and $200, a person will visit the grave for half an hour. He will clean the gravesite, kowtow, weep, and mourn. He will also offer flowers, sacrifices, and prayers. The living elderly complain when strangers perform these tasks. They suspect some family members are too lazy to fulfill their obligations. Besides, they believe hiring a stranger doesn’t show proper respect to the dead. Online services are convenient, but customers miss the opportunity to gather and strengthen family relationships.

An Ongoing Struggle against Ancestor Worship

Several months after asking whether she could wave to the idol, Sharon told me she and her daughter had prayed to receive Christ. Sharon’s mother-in-law was most displeased with their decisions since she had committed the family to Buddha. The husband’s mother can hold immense power in the Chinese family, so her opposition could be formidable.

In the years I taught in Hong Kong, how to honor ancestors while still being faithful to Christ came up many times. Believers also questioned whether Christians should eat food offered to idols (referring to the family meal at the gravesite). Sometimes Chinese believers refuse to go with their families to the cemetery. Other times they go but don’t take part in the traditional rituals. They may instead take flowers to put on the grave. The struggle of how to stand for Christ without destroying family harmony occurs every year. Ancestor worship occurs at tomb sweeping festivals and at every funeral when the living are expected to bow to the deceased. What is the cost of compromise? How can they win their families to faith in God if they alienate them?

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