Holding onto Faith in the Dark (Part 1)
Sometimes, God throws us a curve, and we find ourselves trying to hold onto our faith in the dark. My husband, Harry, and I had served churches in the US for over thirty-five years when an international congregation in Hong Kong contacted him about becoming their pastor. Though I wanted to remain in the States, what if their invitation came from God? We visited and looked over the city in early November, and our questions exploded. For example, how could we live across the ocean and stay connected to our family? How could we make a Christ-difference in a culture so unlike our own?
Despite our uncertainty, the Pastor Search Committee invited us to return so Harry could preach a trial sermon. We hesitated, unwilling to agree unless we sensed God’s undeniable call. We promised to pray and give them an answer after Thanksgiving. Then we flew home, holding onto our faith in the dark and believing God would answer.
Can you identify? You want to follow God’s direction if only you can discern his will. Harry and I prayed, studied Scripture, and listened to sermons. Godly counselors offered diverse opinions, but we heard nothing from the Lord. Our hearts yearned for him to dispel the darkness and light our way, yet Thanksgiving came and went amid his silence. With a heavy heart, Harry called the committee chairman to tell him we remained clueless about God’s will. Although we wanted to say yes, we couldn’t move to Hong Kong without a firm conviction of his call. Disappointed, the chair left the door open for us to come if God spoke.
Like us, Joseph was in the dark about his future. Life had taken an unexpected turn. What did God want from him?
Daylight to Dark ~ What to Do
Despite Joseph’s eager anticipation and months-long preparation for his upcoming wedding, his discovery of Mary’s condition plunged him into darkness and left him no choice. As much as he wished to believe her story about an angelic encounter, he couldn’t. Since he was a righteous man, to maintain his honor meant he had no option but to divorce his pregnant fiancée. To do otherwise would appear to condone her presumed adultery. The only question was whether to pursue a public or private end to their betrothal and marriage.
Joseph longed to mirror God’s righteous justice and mercy. Perhaps Mary deserved censure, yet a public divorce would guarantee community disgrace and possible stoning. Or he could divorce her privately, sparing her humiliation in court. Granted, the gossip mill would flourish, but she would live. Joseph’s heart broke as he grieved the pain Mary would suffer and the devastating loss of his hopes for their life together. What should he do? How could he hold onto his faith in the dark?
A Dream in the Night
God sent Joseph a dream with an angel and an alternative: “Do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit” (Matthew 1:20 NIV). Joseph’s heart soared when he realized his bride told the truth, but it sank when he recognized the cost of obedience. If he followed God’s directions, he would share Mary’s shame, sacrificing his honor, his most valuable possession. He and Mary would be the talk of the town.
Nevertheless, Joseph obeyed even though the responsibility of parenting such a unique child weighed heavy on his heart. He was a carpenter, not a religious scholar. Yet he realized God had also chosen him when he chose Mary. Confident in the Lord’s sustaining grace, Joseph stepped into the darkness of the unknown and trusted God to light the way.
Are You Holding onto Faith in the Dark?
What are you waiting for? Where are you struggling to hold onto your faith in the dark? God sometimes allows darkness to surround us as we wait because trusting him with the unknown stretches our faith. How should we respond? Please share your thoughts with your fellow strugglers. I’d love to pray with and for you. You can use the Comments box below.
The Rest of the Story
Holding onto Faith in the Dark (Part 2) will detail the rest of Joseph’s and our stories and how God spoke to all of us. Subscribe to my email list to receive a notification when the blog is posted. I hope to see you there!
Holding onto Faith in the Dark (Part 1) by @NLucenay on Beyond the Front Door Share on X
Nancy Lucenay
Retired pastor’s wife, Bible teacher, & writer. Communicating biblical truth with cultural awareness.
4 Comments
Heather L Leston
Your line about “sacrificing his honor, his most valuable possession” struck me today.
That is so true for his culture and that time period, but it is still a big deal in our culture, especially among fellow believers. False accusations and shameful judgements sting us at our core!
Today when I was following along with the words to The Messiah oratorio, I was reminded that surely he has borne our sorrows, a man of sorrow, acquainted with grief. He bore reproach that was ours, not his. He was forsaken and we esteemed him not. He knows what this pain feels like!
It isn’t necessarily fun to remember that “For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps….” (I Peter 2:21). But it is truth and it helps when that suffering or shame comes up you.
Thanks for the reminder that both Mary and Joseph endured the shame of misunderstanding and judgement when they followed God’s will for their lives. They bore unjust shame and silent burdens as they chose to obey. They didn’t know the end of the story as we do, but they followed anyway. What a testimony.
Their faith is one more proof of the power of God at work in their lives (and the lives of all who obey by faith). May God grow my faith each day in similar fashion!
Nancy Lucenay
Thank you, Heather, for reading and responding. Rejection, judgment, and false accusations are all painful, but you’re so right–our Savior walks with us. His grace is always enough. There was so much Joseph didn’t understand, but he followed God’s directions anyway. He’s a worthy role model for us.
I pray you and your family enjoy the peace, love, and joy of Jesus this Christmas!
Sandy Kress
I’ve read your most interesting post this week and would say this:
I’ve definitely felt called by God to take on certain assignments in my life.
I can think of two major “commissions.” They’ve very much directed me to significant work for the Lord.
But as to specific invitations I’ve been given for discrete tasks, I’m not so sure. While there’s been nothing as dramatic a change of course as your most recent opportunity, I don’t remember feeling an explicit direction from God for the discrete tasks.
On the other hand, when I’ve found or been given opportunities (such as a recent invitation to sponsor a major Catholic-Jewish study project from the Angelicum at the Vatican), I’ve not “heard from God” explicitly on whether to do it. But, perhaps, since this generally is the work God has called us to do, the place of God in the invitation was in the call itself, the call from Father Thomas Joseph through an intermediary giving us the opportunity to do something big within the call we had already received.
So, what does this mean? It may be that God’s call to you is in the invitation from the Committee to be the Church’s pastor.
But then again you may not feel that. You may feel there are other things you must do now instead of making this big move. And you can serve God in other ways. You and your husband will know.
All I’m saying is I think that a call from God for discrete work within an already given commission can come in many ways.
I think, for example, of Moses praying to God at the sea. God did not answer him but rather told him something to the effect of “Why do you pray to me. You know what you’re to do!” The God-directed player was Nachson, who just jumped in to cross, knowing that that was what God expected of the people.
I hope this is of help.
Nancy Lucenay
Thanks so much for your response, Sandy! Congratulations on the invitation to sponsor a major Catholic-Jewish study project at the Vatican. That’s quite an honor!
I agree that sometimes God’s call is in the invitation. At other times, however, the decision isn’t quite so simple. At the time of the invitation from Hong Kong (2002), we had other opportunities as well, so we needed to determine which (if any) God wanted us to accept. I’ll share the rest of the story in my next post.
Thank you again for reading and responding. Your wise counsel is much appreciated and as relevant to discerning God’s will today as then.
I hope to read more about your study project. I’m sure you’ll do a great job!