Honor Games: How to Play & Win

Her brow furrowed and her eyes pleading, Michelle asked me to pray for her son. “Of course. Is something wrong?” I responded. “He has a school interview tomorrow,” she explained. My jaw dropped; Michelle’s son was not yet two years old. Competition to get into the “right” nursery or kindergarten is fierce in Hong Kong because it leads to getting into the right primary and secondary schools. Therefore, parents go to extraordinary lengths to ensure their children make it into the top programs. Why? They want their children to have the best start in life. They also desire the honor that comes to parents when their child is in a prestigious school.  Honor games begin early in Asian cultures. 

Honor Games in the First Century

When acquiring honor is your top goal, and you assume it’s a limited good, you believe more honor for your neighbor means less for you. That can lead to envy and conflict. Nothing is more valuable than honor in an honor/shame culture, so life is a series of contests. In the first century, people competed for honor via a push-and-shove game called “Challenge and Response.” The goal is to gain honor at someone else’s expense. The winner receives honor, the loser shame.

There are four steps to challenge and response:

1. Claim of honor—it can be direct or indirect, spoken or assumed, positive or negative. An honor claim asserts the right of one person to enter the social space of another.
2. Challenge—because honor claims threaten another person’s status, they require a challenge.
3. Response—either the person who made the honor claim defends it or he (most of the time it was a male) loses face. The game may include several repetitions of steps one through three.
4. Public verdict—since honor is a public commodity, it is the onlookers who determine the winner and loser.

Honor Games in the Bible

In Honor and Shame in the Gospel of Matthew, Jerome H. Neyrey says that every time Jesus appeared in public (outside his circle of family and friends), people engaged him in honor games. He faced both positive and negative challenges, with most of the interactions taking the form of challenge and response.

Positive Challenges

Positive challenges put Jesus’ reputation on the line and obligated him to reciprocate. In a world that assumed limited good, giving to one person meant there was less to give to another. Additionally, no man wanted to seem weak. In first-century culture, Jesus upheld his honor when he rejected a positive challenge. Positive challenges could be:

• A compliment—the rich young ruler called Jesus “Good teacher” (Mark 10:17-27)
• A request—the Canaanite woman asked Jesus to heal her daughter (Matthew 15:21-28)
• An offer of discipleship—a teacher of the law volunteered to follow Jesus (Matthew 8:18-22)

Negative Challenges

Jesus faced multiple negative challenges in his life from King Herod, the devil, ordinary people, and religious leaders. In fact, most exchanges between Jesus and the religious leaders involved honor games. For example:

• Insults—the teachers of the law accused Jesus of blasphemy after he forgave the paralytic’s sins (Matthew 9:1-8)
• Criticism—the Pharisees criticized Jesus because his disciples picked grain on the Sabbath (Matthew 12:1-8)
• Hostile questions—the Pharisees tried to trap Jesus when they asked about paying taxes to Caesar (Matthew 22:15-22)

Although Jesus won every honor game, he wasn’t on an ego-trip. He was seeking his Father’s honor, not his own. No honor competition exists between the Son and the Father. Jesus’ accrual of honor caused envy and conflict with the religious leaders, leading to his death. Nevertheless, he never returned evil for evil even during his arrest and crucifixion.

Should Believers Play Honor Games?

We face endless opportunities to take part in honor games—we’re insulted, criticized, and challenged. Churches, mission organizations, Christian networks, individuals—all face the same temptations; everyone wants honor. Our hunger for honor is God-given, but human sources never satisfy. How should Christians respond? 

Jesus taught an upside-down honor code. “If anyone would be first, he must be last of all and servant of all,” and “whoever would be great among you must be your servant.” (Mark 9:35; 10:43) When we serve, we gain the heart-satisfying honor only God can give.

The only honor game Jesus’ followers should play is “Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.” (Romans 12:10, English Standard Version) Whose honor are you seeking?

Unless otherwise noted, the Bible used is the New International Version.