Mary and Martha ~ Disappointed in God

“Why serve a god who won’t do what you want?” Once again, April was disappointed when God didn’t give her what she wanted. With a pragmatic approach to religion, many in Hong Kong worshiped a god until he no longer did what they desired. Then they moved on to another god. People in the West may also measure God’s power and faithfulness by whether he answers their prayers in ways they deem favorable. We plead for healing, for an end to the pandemic, for hope. But the virus rages on, sickening many and killing some. Maybe even someone we love. We’re devastated when God responds to our pleas with apparent silence, causing us to wonder whether our faith is just foolishness. Fear mixes with disappointment, leaving us wringing our hands and gritting our teeth. Mary and Martha also found God’s response to their pleas disappointing (John 11:1-44).

When God Is Silent

Mary and Martha knew and followed Jesus for almost three years. They saw his healing power, and their home was a familiar resting place for him. With the loss of the lone male in their family, the sisters became vulnerable and faced an uncertain future. So, when they sent word of their brother’s illness, they expected Jesus would rush to their side. Yet the messenger returned alone, and the response from Jesus was the deafening sound of silence. Didn’t he care?

Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. So when he heard that Lazarus was sick, he stayed where he was two more days…

John 11:5-6

To their ears, Jesus’ silence screamed louder than his claim to love them. His actions raised questions rather than provided reassurance. If he loved the family, why was Lazarus sick? Why didn’t he come when they called? Our questions reveal our tendency to measure God’s love by our circumstances. The disciples also struggled to understand until Jesus told them Lazarus’ sickness wouldn’t end in death. Their hope, however, was short-lived. 

Two days later, Jesus announced they were returning to Judea, despite knowing the Jews wanted to stone him (10:31). When Jesus clarified that Lazarus was dead, fear and confusion replaced whatever comfort the disciples had. Nevertheless, with bravery and loyalty, they followed him to Bethany. 

Mary and Martha Challenged Jesus

By the time Jesus arrived, Lazarus had been in the tomb four days. According to tradition, the soul stayed near the body three days hoping to reunite. But on the fourth day, hope died. 

Mary and Martha’s expectations of Jesus and their experience with him didn’t match. Their sense of abandonment must have compounded their grief. Both women met him with the same challenge. What do you hear in their voices? Fear? Anger? Accusation? Disappointment? Resignation?

Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.

John 11:21, 32

Martha misinterpreted Jesus’ promise that Lazarus would rise again, assuming he was referring to the resurrection at the end of time. So, Jesus explained. No longer was resurrection tied to a time and place. Instead, Jesus had resurrection and life-giving power.

Rather than being offended at Mary and Martha’s misunderstanding and tears, Jesus wept with them. God doesn’t hold himself apart and aloof; he enters our pain. As Philip Yancey says, “If you want to know how God feels about people who are suffering, look at Jesus.”

Jesus Challenged Mary and Martha

Jesus’ presence always brings change. He intends every encounter with him to test and transform us. But, as we so often do after seeking God’s help, Martha argued. The smell of shame would assault the senses of the crowd if someone opened the tomb. Death, after all, was the ultimate uncleanness in a culture that valued purity. However, Jesus assured her:

Did I not tell you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?

John 11:40

Then Jesus called Lazarus out of death and into life. He removed Lazarus’ shame, restored his dignity, and reversed his honor status. God’s glory was evident to all. Or was it?

Many who saw the miracle believed in Jesus, but some reported him to the Pharisees, who wanted to kill him. Seeing is not always believing. Rather, seeing results from believing. Some things we must believe before we can see.

The Challenge to Us

Many suffer disappointment when God doesn’t do what we expect a loving God to do. We struggle with his silence. Yet, Jesus’ silence wasn’t rejection but preparation for a greater revelation of himself. Mary and Martha already knew Jesus as a healer. Had he gone to Bethany when the sisters first called, they would never have known Jesus as the resurrection and the life.

What does God yearn for us to learn during this time? Although we expect him to work in ways we’ve already experienced, he delights in moving beyond what we imagine. He hasn’t forgotten us; he isn’t ignoring us. Although we may be disappointed in God when he doesn’t respond as we wish, I wonder. Is God also disappointed in us, in our failure to trust the One who proved his love with the gift of his Son?