“Mom, I have a brain tumor.” Words guaranteed to cause a parent’s heart to skip several beats. How could anyone claim contentment after hearing those words? Yet, my friend and fellow pastor’s wife, Nancy Wilson says she did just that when her son, author N.D. Wilson shared his diagnosis with her. She received the news two weeks after turning in the manuscript for her book Learning Contentment. Her son’s brain surgery and the release of her book would occur on the same day. As Nancy sees it, God’s timing is impeccable. Since God doesn’t tolerate hypocrites, he gave her the opportunity to practice what she preached, to refuse to let discontent derail her peace. Unlike Nancy’s commitment to be content, Jacob’s wife Rachel found contentment elusive, allowing discontent to steal her joy.

A Shaky Start

By the time Rachel was of marriageable age, scripture reports she “had a lovely figure and was beautiful.” (Genesis 29:17) She seemed to have bested her older sister Leah in the honor competition since the biblical author described Leah as having “weak eyes.” Smitten by Rachel’s beauty, Jacob agreed to work seven years for her hand. But the sisters’ father tricked Jacob into marrying Leah first, requiring Jacob to work another seven years for Rachel. Although enraged at his father-in-law’s deception, Jacob agreed. Was Rachel privy to the plan? Did she agree? Some rabbis think so. (We’ll explore some of their interpretations in the next blog post.)

Discontent Begins for Rachel

“When the Lord saw that Leah was not loved, he enabled her to conceive, but Rachel remained childless.” (29:31) Rachel may have won Jacob’s heart, but Leah won the child-bearing contest by bearing Jacob four sons. Discontent damages relationships. Overwhelmed with jealousy, Rachel demanded of Jacob, “Give me children, or I’ll die!” (30:1) Unlike Hannah, who handled her childlessness with grace and prayer, Rachel felt entitled to motherhood. Being the favorite wife wasn’t enough; she thought contentment lay in getting everything she wanted. 

In time, God enabled Rachel to conceive, which removed the shame of her barrenness. Although bearing a son brought Rachel honor, it didn’t bring her contentment. She named her baby Joseph (literally: may he add), saying, “May the Lord add to me another son.” (30:24) Rather than bringing fulfillment, the birth stoked Rachel’s greed. She couldn’t be grateful for or enjoy God’s gift because she wanted more. Discontent defined and defiled Rachel’s heart and led to her death. Her demand became her destiny. Rachel died giving birth to her second son.

Avoiding Derailment

Like Rachel, most of us struggle to be at peace with what, where, who, and how we are. Our discontent results from searching for contentment in the wrong places—in possessions, achievements, appearance, circumstances, relationships, or feelings. No matter how much we have, it’s not enough. Our focus is in the wrong place. How can we learn to be content? 

• Be thankful. Give thanks for what we have rather than complaining about what we don’t have. (1 Thessalonians 5:18)
• Be thoughtful. Train our minds to focus on what’s good, taking every thought captive to make it obedient to Christ. Refuse anxiety, replacing worry with praise. (Philippians 4:6a, 8; 2 Corinthians 10:5)
• Be prepared. Expect challenges. God uses trials to make us more like Jesus. (James 1:2-4; Romans 8:28-29)
• Be prayerful. Present our requests to God, trusting him to know and do what’s right when it’s right. (Philippians 4:6b)
• Be determined. Choose to be content. Rely on God’s strength. (Philippians 4:11-13)

We win or lose the battle for contentment in our minds. Success is neither quick nor easy, but it is possible. Are you staying on track or falling off the rails? With our determination and God’s strength, we can derail discontent before it derails us.

If you find this content meaningful, please share it.