“Mom, I have a brain tumor”—words guaranteed to cause a parent’s heart to skip several beats. How can anyone be content in the face of such dark and devastating news from a loved one? Two weeks after my friend and fellow pastor’s wife, Nancy Wilson, turned in the manuscript for her book Learning Contentment, her son shared his diagnosis with her. His brain surgery and the release of her book would occur on the same day. As Nancy sees it, God’s timing is impeccable. Since he doesn’t tolerate hypocrites, he gave her an opportunity to practice what she preaches. With his help, she increased her contentment by refusing to let discontent derail her peace. 

The evil one uses every available means to tempt us to dissatisfaction. Our temptations may come through physical, financial, or family issues. By focusing on someone else’s apparent success or blessings, I fail to appreciate God’s gifts to me. I long to control my circumstances, thinking I could eliminate my struggles if only I could reform other people or rearrange my situation. Have you been there? Our imaginations deceive us. To find contentment, we must surrender control and submit to God’s wisdom.

Unlike my friend, who is committed to contentment, I sometimes identify with Jacob’s wife, Rachel, who allowed discontent to steal her joy.

A Shaky Start

By the time Rachel reached marriageable age, Scripture reports she “had a lovely figure and was beautiful” (Genesis 29:17 NIV). She seemed to have bested her older sister, Leah, in the honor competition since the biblical author described Leah as having “weak eyes.” Smitten by Rachel’s beauty, Jacob agreed to work seven years for her hand. But the sisters’ father tricked Jacob into marrying Leah first, requiring Jacob to work another seven years for Rachel. Although enraged at his father-in-law’s deception, Jacob agreed. Was Rachel privy to the plan? Did she agree? Some rabbis think so.

After Leah’s wedding week concluded, Jacob married Rachel, the love of his life. She expected her contentment to increase with marital bliss and the birth of many babies.

Discontent Derails Rachel’s Contentment

“When the Lord saw that Leah was not loved, he enabled her to conceive, but Rachel remained childless” (Genesis 29:31 NIV). Rachel may have won Jacob’s heart, but Leah won the child-bearing contest by giving Jacob four sons. Overwhelmed with discontent, Rachel demanded of Jacob, “Give me children, or I’ll die!” (Genesis 30:1 NIV). Unlike Hannah, who handled her infertility with grace and prayer, Rachel felt entitled to motherhood. Being the favorite wife wasn’t enough; she thought contentment depended on having everything she wanted.

After about ten years, God enabled Rachel to conceive, which removed the shame of her barrenness. Birthing a son brought Rachel honor but not contentment. She named her baby Joseph (meaning “may he add”), saying, “May the Lord add to me another son” (Genesis 30:24 NIV). Rather than bringing fulfillment, the birth stoked Rachel’s appetite. She couldn’t be grateful for or enjoy God’s gift because she wanted more. I’ve been guilty of such greed. Have you?

Discontent defined and defiled Rachel’s heart and led to her death. Her demand became her destiny—she died giving birth to her second son.

Keys to Increase Contentment

Like Rachel, many of us struggle to be at peace with what, where, who, or how we are. Our discontent results from searching for contentment in the wrong places—possessions, achievements, appearance, circumstances, relationships, or feelings. No matter how much we have, it’s not enough. How can we increase our level of contentment? 

• Express thanks for what we have rather than complaining about what we lack. Gratitude opens the door to contentment, not because life is good but because God is.

“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thessalonians 5:18 NIV).

• Exercise Holy Spirit strength to align our thoughts with Jesus’ message and mission. Reframe challenges as chances to shine God’s light and love into the darkness.

Hope for Growing Our Contentment

We expect contentment when God grants our requests, but that’s not how it works. We find the peace and joy we desire when we delight in him, no matter our circumstances.

“Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart” (Psalm 37:4 ESV).

What keys to increasing contentment have you discovered? Please share so we can learn from you.

"Keys to Increase Contentment" by @Nlucenay on Beyond the Front Door Share on X